Best of Wodehouse:

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight

“Have you ever tasted such filthy coffee?” “Never” said Joe, though he had lived in French hotels

The Aberdeen terrier gave me an unpleasant look and said something under his breath in Gaelic

Every young man starting life should know how to cope with an angry swan, so I will briefly relate the proper procedure. You begin by picking up the raincoat which somebody has dropped; and then, judging the distance to a nicety, you simply shove the raincoat over the bird’s head; and, taking the boat-hook which you have prudently brought with you, you insert it under the swan and heave. […] That was Jeeves’s method, and I cannot see how it could be improved upon.

I had just got across the lawn when a head poked itself out of the smoking-room window and beamed at me in an amiable sort of way.
“Ah, Mr. Wooster,” it said. “Ha, ha!”
“Ho, ho!” I replied, not to be outdone in the courtesies.